Lately, my group has been organising many functions and as time went by I was appalled to find out that many of my socialite friends were really lacking in etiquette, even though they are the ones that seem to be attending the A Grade parties all over town. Some of them are Tan Sri's, Dato's, professionals and even social guru's!
I decided to do this posting so that people come to their senses and start doing the right thing. I myself am not perfect, but lets get on the right path again.
If you are invited for an event it only means priority has been given to you by the host compared to many people that your host might know. In most cases they will surely more people than the numbers invited. Budget constraints usually does not allow one to invited every single person they know
-Not sending a RSVP and simply showing up at a function:
I really cannot understand people who do this, if you didn't RSVP please just don't show. up. The host has to prepare for their guest and when you show up unexpectedly you screw up their arrangements. It is acceptable not replying to an RSVP as the assumption is you are saying NO you will not be attending.
-Replying "Will Try" as the RSVP:
There is no will will try option people! You are required to reply yes or no only. This allows your host to estimate the number of people coming and make the necessary preparation to host you.You are not doing the host a favour by saying will try.
-Replying YES in your RSVP and then not showing up:
When you do this you are not only causing an inconvenience to your host but also wasting their money and effort they would have spent preparing to host you. In one of our functions 10 people on my guest list didn't attend and at RM150 per head it cost me RM1500. If you cannot make it, let your host know so they can replace you with someone else. No one irreplaceable
-Showing Up Late
Respect your guest and the event by turning up on time, Stop try to make the Malaysian Time a reality. If your invite says 3pm, show up at sharp 3pm, waltzing in at 3.15 is being rude. Now if you know you cannot make it at the time stated as your host if it is alright to come late. Make allowance for peak hour jams if you are attending events from 7am to 930pm and 4pm to 8.30pm. Our traffic jams did not start yesterday, it has been around!
I decided to do this posting so that people come to their senses and start doing the right thing. I myself am not perfect, but lets get on the right path again.
Social Faux Pas
If you are invited for an event it only means priority has been given to you by the host compared to many people that your host might know. In most cases they will surely more people than the numbers invited. Budget constraints usually does not allow one to invited every single person they know
-Not sending a RSVP and simply showing up at a function:
I really cannot understand people who do this, if you didn't RSVP please just don't show. up. The host has to prepare for their guest and when you show up unexpectedly you screw up their arrangements. It is acceptable not replying to an RSVP as the assumption is you are saying NO you will not be attending.
-Replying "Will Try" as the RSVP:
There is no will will try option people! You are required to reply yes or no only. This allows your host to estimate the number of people coming and make the necessary preparation to host you.You are not doing the host a favour by saying will try.
-Replying YES in your RSVP and then not showing up:
When you do this you are not only causing an inconvenience to your host but also wasting their money and effort they would have spent preparing to host you. In one of our functions 10 people on my guest list didn't attend and at RM150 per head it cost me RM1500. If you cannot make it, let your host know so they can replace you with someone else. No one irreplaceable
-Showing Up Late
Respect your guest and the event by turning up on time, Stop try to make the Malaysian Time a reality. If your invite says 3pm, show up at sharp 3pm, waltzing in at 3.15 is being rude. Now if you know you cannot make it at the time stated as your host if it is alright to come late. Make allowance for peak hour jams if you are attending events from 7am to 930pm and 4pm to 8.30pm. Our traffic jams did not start yesterday, it has been around!
-Keeping To The Agenda
If the agenda for the event stated that the event is from 3pm to 7pm, try not to run of early at 6pm. If the event goes beyond the set time then you have every right to leave. Otherwise plan your time properly to honor your host.
-Bringing additional Guest:
Do not bring additional guests to the events if you have not asked prior permission from the host. Don't just show up at the door with your guest then ask permission, what do you think the host is going to say? You are just putting the host in a difficult situation.
-Do not try to do take-aways of left over food :
A gracious host will never say no but do not try to ask for take aways of left over food at functions unless the host is the one who is offering you to do so.
-Bringing additional Guest:
Do not bring additional guests to the events if you have not asked prior permission from the host. Don't just show up at the door with your guest then ask permission, what do you think the host is going to say? You are just putting the host in a difficult situation.
-Do not try to do take-aways of left over food :
A gracious host will never say no but do not try to ask for take aways of left over food at functions unless the host is the one who is offering you to do so.
- When attending birthday parties, bring a present! It's a birthday party, the present need not be expensive but bring a little meaningful gift or card to commemorate the moment that will become memories
- Dress for the occasion, do not give excuses if the party has a theme try to dress to the theme. Not making an effort shows you are not respecting the wishes of your host.
- Be supportive of your friends careers. If your friend is a singer and has sent you a poster of his event, be supportive and buy a ticket as that is his/hers career. If they start giving everyone complimentary tickets they would go bankrupt. It looks like the richer you are, the most likely you will be offered complimentary VIP tickets. It's the poorer ones that pay to attend.
-Thank your host and give feedback
It's always good to thank your host if you had a good time and if you had a bad time give some feedback to your host so they can take note of the shortcomings and do better next time. Never take your invitations for granted.
-Mobile phone sickness:
When attending concerts or dinners, switch your phone to silent and limit handling your phone while the function is going unless you are taking pictures or video.
Make sure while you are doing so you are not inconveniencing other guest. Limit the amount of selfies you are taking, taking 100 selfies is not going to make you look any better!.After taking the selfies if you really have to use the apps to beautify the picture, do it later. You look ridiculous taking pictures then spending the next ten minutes beautifying the picture.
-Thank your host and give feedback
It's always good to thank your host if you had a good time and if you had a bad time give some feedback to your host so they can take note of the shortcomings and do better next time. Never take your invitations for granted.
-Mobile phone sickness:
When attending concerts or dinners, switch your phone to silent and limit handling your phone while the function is going unless you are taking pictures or video.
Make sure while you are doing so you are not inconveniencing other guest. Limit the amount of selfies you are taking, taking 100 selfies is not going to make you look any better!.After taking the selfies if you really have to use the apps to beautify the picture, do it later. You look ridiculous taking pictures then spending the next ten minutes beautifying the picture.
This one is for the host:
If you have invited someone for a party, you are expected to provide everything for the party, If you like your guest to pay or chip in when paying for the bill please inform your guest in advance when inviting. If the event is a pot luck event, clearly state and coordinate what everyone is bringing so that you don't have 5 friends bringing Kentucky Fried Chicken. Be specific as possible in your invitations.
Even the most carefree parties demand guests and hosts alike meet certain expectations. The host must plan and organise the party, and then attend to the assembled party-goers. Guests, too, need to rise to the occasion, with the Party Animal toning it down at a reserved affair, the Show-Off yielding the spotlight, and the Shrinking Violet making an effort to blossom.
Even the most carefree parties demand guests and hosts alike meet certain expectations. The host must plan and organise the party, and then attend to the assembled party-goers. Guests, too, need to rise to the occasion, with the Party Animal toning it down at a reserved affair, the Show-Off yielding the spotlight, and the Shrinking Violet making an effort to blossom.
Six Ways to Be a Good Host
No matter the type of party you’re throwing, here are some things a host should consider, even before the party starts:
1) Invite clearly. Include necessary information for your guests in the invitation: the date, the time, the place, the occasion, the host(s) and when and how to respond “yes” or “no.” Add any special information such as what to wear or what to bring, say, for a pot-luck.
2) Plan well. Take care creating your guest list. A great group of people will make any party a success, even if it rains on the picnic or the food is a flop. Get everything ready—your meal prepped, the table set, your party space tidy, refreshments ready—well before your guests arrive, so you’ll feel relaxed from the very beginning.
3) Be welcoming and attentive. Make sure guests are greeted warmly, then made to feel welcome throughout the party. Look after each guest as much as you can. If you notice a guest with an empty glass or if there’s one person standing alone, take action and remedy the situation.
4) Be flexible and gracious. Your soufflé falls. Or one friend arrives with an unexpected guest. The ruined dessert? Have a fallback. The uninvited guest? As discourteous as it is for someone to spring a surprise on you, be gracious. No polite host would ever send an uninvited guest packing.
5) Be the leader and the spark. It’s your job to run the show and let your guests know when it’s time for dinner, or dessert, or charades. Circulate among your guests, introduce newcomers, and stay with a each group long enough to get a conversation going.
6) Be appreciative. Thank people for coming as you bid them good-bye. And don’t forget to thank anyone who brought you a gift.
Six Ways to Be a Good Guest
Good guests really shine and are welcome additions to any gathering. Here’s how:
1) Tell your host whether you’re attending. And do it immediately. If you delay your reply, you could hinder the host’s planning and also make it seem as if you’re waiting for something better to come along. Even if no RSVP has been requested, it’s thoughtful to thank your host for the invitation and let him know if you can be there or not.
2) Be on time. Punctuality means different things to people in different locales. In general guests should arrive at or shortly after (fifteen minutes or less) the time stated on the invitation. Do not, however, arrive early. If you will be seriously late, call your host with an ETA so she won’t worry.
3) Be a willing participant. When your host says that it’s time for dinner, go straight to the table. If you’re asked to participate in a party game or view Susie’s graduation pictures, accept graciously and enthusiastically no matter how you really feel.
4) Offer to help when you can. If you’re visiting with the host in the kitchen as he prepares the food, be specific when you offer to help: “I’d be happy to prep the salad or fill the water glasses.” Even if your offer is refused, your gesture will be appreciated. When the party’s end draws nigh, you could also offer to help with the cleanup.
5) Don’t overindulge. Attacking finger foods as if you haven’t eaten in a week will not only attract the wrong kind of attention, it will also leave less food for other guests. Same goes for the pinot noir. Moderation is the name of the game.
6) Thank your host twice. Always thank your hosts enthusiastically when you say your good-byes. A second thank you by phone the day after the party is also a gracious gesture. If the party was formal or given in your honor, written thanks are in order. In fact, a written note is always appreciated—even after casual parties.
No matter the type of party you’re throwing, here are some things a host should consider, even before the party starts:
1) Invite clearly. Include necessary information for your guests in the invitation: the date, the time, the place, the occasion, the host(s) and when and how to respond “yes” or “no.” Add any special information such as what to wear or what to bring, say, for a pot-luck.
2) Plan well. Take care creating your guest list. A great group of people will make any party a success, even if it rains on the picnic or the food is a flop. Get everything ready—your meal prepped, the table set, your party space tidy, refreshments ready—well before your guests arrive, so you’ll feel relaxed from the very beginning.
3) Be welcoming and attentive. Make sure guests are greeted warmly, then made to feel welcome throughout the party. Look after each guest as much as you can. If you notice a guest with an empty glass or if there’s one person standing alone, take action and remedy the situation.
4) Be flexible and gracious. Your soufflé falls. Or one friend arrives with an unexpected guest. The ruined dessert? Have a fallback. The uninvited guest? As discourteous as it is for someone to spring a surprise on you, be gracious. No polite host would ever send an uninvited guest packing.
5) Be the leader and the spark. It’s your job to run the show and let your guests know when it’s time for dinner, or dessert, or charades. Circulate among your guests, introduce newcomers, and stay with a each group long enough to get a conversation going.
6) Be appreciative. Thank people for coming as you bid them good-bye. And don’t forget to thank anyone who brought you a gift.
Six Ways to Be a Good Guest
Good guests really shine and are welcome additions to any gathering. Here’s how:
1) Tell your host whether you’re attending. And do it immediately. If you delay your reply, you could hinder the host’s planning and also make it seem as if you’re waiting for something better to come along. Even if no RSVP has been requested, it’s thoughtful to thank your host for the invitation and let him know if you can be there or not.
2) Be on time. Punctuality means different things to people in different locales. In general guests should arrive at or shortly after (fifteen minutes or less) the time stated on the invitation. Do not, however, arrive early. If you will be seriously late, call your host with an ETA so she won’t worry.
3) Be a willing participant. When your host says that it’s time for dinner, go straight to the table. If you’re asked to participate in a party game or view Susie’s graduation pictures, accept graciously and enthusiastically no matter how you really feel.
4) Offer to help when you can. If you’re visiting with the host in the kitchen as he prepares the food, be specific when you offer to help: “I’d be happy to prep the salad or fill the water glasses.” Even if your offer is refused, your gesture will be appreciated. When the party’s end draws nigh, you could also offer to help with the cleanup.
5) Don’t overindulge. Attacking finger foods as if you haven’t eaten in a week will not only attract the wrong kind of attention, it will also leave less food for other guests. Same goes for the pinot noir. Moderation is the name of the game.
6) Thank your host twice. Always thank your hosts enthusiastically when you say your good-byes. A second thank you by phone the day after the party is also a gracious gesture. If the party was formal or given in your honor, written thanks are in order. In fact, a written note is always appreciated—even after casual parties.
