Eat and be merry: Throughout the year, most Chinese families spend a lot of time together over meals, helping them strengthen their bond. — filepic
TODAY is the seventh day of the world’s grandest and noisiest festival celebrated by 1.4 billion people throughout the world — Chinese New Year.
Traditionally, the Chinese people, no matter where they are, literally drop everything they are doing and return home to celebrate the auspicious occasion with their families. They must be home in time for the family reunion dinner on the festival’s eve.
For centuries the Chinese have held on to the notion that however difficult life may be for them throughout the year, they must reunite with their families during this festival, especially over this symbolic meal. Some people believe this is the Passover dinner described in the Bible.
Reunion dinner
Kheng Chor, my late paternal grandfather whom I fondly called Yeh Yeh, insisted that we gathered early in the evening on the eve, dined and then spent time as a family until late into the night. He would remind every one of us to attend this dinner a few weeks in advance. The reunion brought much joy to him and Mah Mah, my grandmother.
Although Yeh Yeh passed away eight years ago, the tradition lives on.
As the size of the family grows, so does the chore of the family chef — my aunt, who inherited the ardent duty from Mah Mah — to prepare a spread of eight dishes of Chinese New Year delicacies for 20 people.
The menu typically includes fish, abalone, chicken, prawns, roast pork, waxed duck, Chinese sausages, liver sausages, a vegetarian dish, mushrooms, black moss (fatt choi), lettuce (sang choi) and lotus soup.
It is also an occasion for yum seng, to usher in good luck, prosperity and good health.
Before the gathering ends, Mah Mah would give each of us an ang pow and two mandarin oranges to ensure that we start the new year with good luck and wealth.
Having learnt this from Yeh Yeh and Mah Mah, my parents believe that a family that dines together stays together.
Throughout the year, we spend a lot of time as a family over delicious meals prepared by my mother who can reproduce any dish after having tasted it. We talk, laugh and sometimes, have serious discussions over coffee and tea. Thus, our family bond is built and mutual understanding is fostered.
Fortunately, my husband went through a similar upbringing. He too believes in having our meals together. In fact, we spend a lot of time at the dining table which doubles as a conference table and workstation. Love and family bonding is the foundation of our home.
Now that I am pregnant, I am thinking about how I should raise my first child and that will set the culture for my future children.
Training and discipline
I believe that my child should be taught, or rather, disciplined to have manners and patience, be obedient and not throw tantrums. Also, training and educating him to be a part of the family is important as it will make him appreciate our roots and prepare him to do likewise later in life. If he joins us in our activities and dines with us, he will learn from our conversations and actions.
Although I am all for modern technology, I do not intend to lavish him with an iPad, mobile phone, games and cartoon shows as tools of distraction to give me breathing space. Of course, it is easier said than done for I know it is not easy to tend to an active child for hours.
My relatives and friends who have children say my grand plan will not work. They are certain that I cannot follow through because children know how to pull their parents’ heartstrings as well as their purse strings.
Fortunately I found a useful tip: teaching a child to be patient and integrating him into the family from birth. This can be done by showing a newborn baby the ways we adults interact with each other and explaining to him the reasons for our actions. Sounds far-fetched? But I believe it.
A newborn knows how to do certain things by nature — cry, laugh, drink, eat, sleep and excrete. He learns new things as he sees and listens. Since I spend a lot of time at the dining table, I will bring my precious bundle of joy there. He will eat with us and watch us work and communicate. That will promote faster learning.
Sitting still
But how will I get him to sit still for a reasonable period? Initially, I thought of putting him in a bouncer on the floor near me whenever I sit at the dining table so that I can keep an eye on him. But I cringe at the thought of our 15-year-old Bengal cat, Mithoz, licking his face and clawing him playfully or worse, jealously. I need something better.
While shopping recently, I found a bouncer that comes with a transformable ergonomic chair that can grow with the child from birth. Fascinating. How does it work?
According to the paediatric physiotherapist who designed the Stokke Steps Bouncer, this softly-cushioned bouncer was designed with a unique cradling movement that mimics the feeling of being cradled in the mother’s arms. This will free me to do other work.
It can be mounted securely on the accompanying Steps Chair where my baby can interact with the rest of our family at the table and can be adjusted to various sitting positions for his comfort without affecting the cradling movements.
When my baby reaches six months, he will use the next chair. Tripp Trapp is an ingenious ergonomically designed highchair bringing him to the height of the dining table, allowing him or her to learn and develop alongside the family. The chair is transformable and adjustable as the child grows and can support a weight up to 85kg.
The classic and iconic design will never go out of style — this is exactly what I need. I am excitedly anticipating the imminent arrival of my baby in May. Imagine the joy of having him join our next family reunion dinner. It will be our first reunion dinner for four generations led by our matriarch, my Mah Mah at the age 95 while my precious baby will be nine months old. It is the moment we are looking forward to.
I wish you “Happy Chinese New Year”. May the Year of the Goat bring peace, joy, good health, harmony and prosperity to you and your loved ones!
Chermaine Poo is currently enjoying her first pregnancy. Follow her on social media atFacebook. com/ChermainePoo and Twitter.com/ChermainePoo
