President Duterte jokes about how he hated spending lonely nights and why he’d rather kill himself if his “most important weapon” conks out

Lonely nights at the top: Duterte worries about his ‘weapon’ conking out
By: Gil C. Cabacungan / @inquirerdotnet
Philippine Daily Inquirer / 01:29 AM October 09, 2016


As he hit the century mark in office, a wistful President Rodrigo Duterte talked about how he hated spending lonely nights and why he’d rather kill himself if his “most important weapon” conks out before him.

The 71-year-old talked about his hang-ups in his 100th day in office as he recalled how easy life was when he was young, compared to his position now as the government’s “chief clerk.”

“When they (classmates in the Cabinet) were studying very hard, I was enjoying my life taking most of my time (coasting along). My youth is much better than the presidency,” Mr. Duterte said during the National Banana Congress in Davao City on Friday. “Susmaryosep! If you only knew, if I could just take it all back.”
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His daily grind consisted mostly of reading a pile of folders from different government agencies. He combs through every page religiously not only because he wanted to but because he doesn’t want to suffer the fate of former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, who was charged with plunder.

His work day starts at 1 p.m. but he hits the sack at the “Bahay ng Pagbabago” at 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. He is so busy that he doesn’t have to time sit down for a proper dinner, and instead makes do with sandwiches and “finger food.”

But the worst part, according to him, is that no one keeps him company at the end of his work day.

“It’s lonely. Alone. I can’t hug my guards because they are men. My aides go home after bringing me home just to make sure I’m alive. After that, if I die in my sleep, they won’t care,” said Mr. Duterte.

One of the new things he realized about being the most powerful man in the country was the lack of privacy.

“You cannot lock the door. I don’t know why. Just sleep there and do anything you want. The rationale of the life of a president. Beyond that there is nothing,” said Mr. Duterte.

Aside from longing for his carefree days as a teenager, Mr. Duterte also shared why he was terrified of growing old.

“I get to live until what age? Until 99 years old? What will I do here? When I look at my naked body, everything I see is useless. All of it. Those hanging, they should cut it. It doesn’t deserve any…,” said Mr. Duterte.

“I’m only good to live until I’m useful. The moment I could no longer do it, with the [other sex]… That’s the essence of life. That’s my only enjoyment. If it is not there, kill me. It is useless,” said the President.

For the President, the worst case scenario is having to meet up with a sexy lady at a nursing home. “Why should I wait [to die]? It would be good if your child will take care of you. But if you get a caregiver who has big… You see it’s really big. What a waste. Nurse, kill me now,” said Mr. Duterte, ending his statement with a cursory curse.